Arry: Hey, girls - what do you think? Change your name, keep it the way it is, or are you going to hyphenate?
Angela: Hells no, I'm not changing my name.
Jackie: I might, if I find the right guy who makes me want to. Probably not.
Maia: Why can't he change his name? Why do I have to change mine?
Christi: Yea, why do I have to change mine? I'm my family's last heir - I want to carry on my family's name.
Kelly: Only after we have kids, then I'll change my name.
Sabine: He's Asian! I change my name, I'm changing ethnicities! I don't want to be Sabine Cheng!
Jackie: Plus, I got my entire career built on my name, Jackie Smith - I am not giving that up. I got a website, jackiesmith.com!
Maia: Yea, I'd like have multiple personality disorder. Maia Kim... no, no... Maia Jackson ... no, no Maia Kim.
Christi: What about you, Arry?
Arry: Yikes! Honestly, if I choose to marry - I will most definitely change my name for him and our family.
All: What? Really? You? That's surprising....
Okay - we get the drift. So many women are opting out of changing the last name when we marry, but to what cost? (Yes, there are far more women that DO change their name, but this article is addressed to the head strong, independant, sexy, strong, woman who is career driven. Maybe my perspective is influenced by the circle of women I am drawn to and choose to hang out with...) We are talking about women like me, women who represent so many of my friends and their friends - we love our beautiful leather shoes from Italy, our decadent cocktails and dinners, our packed resumes with elite schools and degrees, our sexy brains and our smart witty mouths, ... we are women, confident and taking on the world with our power heels, pencil skirts, and brain power.
But ladies, sweet chickadees, my fellow intelligent women around the world, I implore you to see that the rest of the world, the rest of society, the world of men is not as advanced and ahead as we may think. While your awesome man, boyfriend, fiance, husband may not admit it - and he may actually say he doesn't care or that it's completely up to you, he does. He cares - to most of the men out there, it would mean the world if you took his name when you marry him. Okay, okay - so you need a few more reasons on why you should change your last name when you marry:
1. Like I said before, your man will most definitely appreciate it.
2. When you marry, you are creating your own family - having a common family name is a good thing
3. Especially if you plan to have children. You're creating a family in spirit, in action and in name.
4. It's a sign of respect to your man. (like I said before, man must treasure his woman, she must respect her man)
5. It's a sign of respect to your husband's family, too. Yea, old school - it's true.
6. Respect for your elders, tradition, the pecking order, hierarchy, man and the world of men needs to be restored
7. You love him - after all, you are choosing to marry (and do I dare say, follow) him.
You get the drift. I think this is very important for at least the above 7 reasons, there are more.
This does not only apply to us women - it applies to the world of men. To the world of men, boyfriends, fiances, husbands, ... stand up and own what you believe in (respectfully). Take a stance - stretch out those backs and necks and be the man we (woman) need and want you to be. Do it respectfully. Absolutely, do not think this is the okay for you to disrespect anyone. If it matters to you, stop saying it doesn't! If it will slightly be appreciated and is slightly desired, say so! But realize, that for a woman, changing her name is not just simply changing her name. To the woman I am speaking about, we are giving up our fight as independent strong women and we are taking on a partner whom we love so dearly, we are potentially giving up our identities as Korean (for me), or some ethnicity, we are giving up our own family names, we are taking on new responsibilities and roles as life partners to you, ... we are respectfully putting down our fists to the world we've fought so hard to succeed in, and opening them up to you. We are opening our hands to you, our partnership, and our family we will build together. This is one of the most difficult things for a power heeled woman to do.
I'm sure many of you are nodding - many of you being the quiet complacent man who does not want to upset his wife/lady/girlfriend, ... and I'm sure many of you are shaking your heads... Thoughts you'd like to share with me?