I just read The Profile by Polina Marinova Pompliano (see above photo) and "Words and Character" do not carry enough weight these days. By the way, I highly recommend subscribing to The Profile, if you haven't yet. I was a fan when she did the Term Sheet at Fortune Magazine - and continue to be a fan. Today's Profile Dossier is on Hugh Jackman. I love this actor... and after reading about him today, I love him even more.
At the end of the article, there is a list of "techniques to try".... and one of them really hit a chord with me. Big deep one that's been on my mind a lot recently.
Keep your word even if it doesn’t benefit you: The most important lesson that Jackman’s father taught him was that promises are sacred. His dad taught him to always stay true to his word — even if it turns out there’s a better option or something will benefit him more. “If you get an invitation to go across the road to your mate’s place for dinner, and then an hour later, you get an invitation from the queen of England to go to Buckingham Palace, you stick by your first one,” Jackman says. “You always keep your word.” This, Jackman believes, is the only way you become a trustworthy human.
From about 2007 to about 2015, I had a really good friend. We met through salsa dancing and I remember just being so moved by the fresh energy and zest for life she used to carry. She's off the charts amazing as a dancer too - I'd often sit on the side watching her. She had a way of dancing that was so detailed and natural - it was like watching an exotic car move effortlessly in a sea of Toyotas and Hondas. Beautiful. I tend to just fall in love with the people I bring into my life - and perhaps I put them on a pedestal too. Wonderful treasures of laughter, hugs, memories, and more.
We went to each other's weddings. Our friends became her friends, and vice versa.
Then it started (again). I'm not sure if it's me. It's happened several times now where since I'm the only thing common, I can't help but think it's me. Maybe I'm not good enough. Maybe I'm just not that interesting. Maybe no one really wants to be friends with me in the first place. Am I even worth anyone's time? It's a downward spiral of sadness, and self-pity.
We'd be making plans to visit San Francisco, and of course, I'd send a note to my usual favorite friends to see while there. I'm usually an introvert and seek more of those intimate conversations with family/friends. Only if time is truly limited, I'll throw everyone into one big dinner or drinks...
She was on this list of friends I truly enjoyed seeing. The first time it happened, we were supposed to meet for a drink at happy hour. Then about an hour before, she was tired so wanted to push it to later. It became a dinner plan. Then around dinner, it became dessert. Then around dessert time, it became after dinner drinks... then late night drinks... then the next day.
My husband also thought it was weird. We brushed it off the first few times as oh well, the timing must have been difficult... oh bummer, they must be really busy... ...
Words and Character. Shouldn't they mean something?
Then on subsequent attempts on following trips to San Francisco, plans would be made and broken again and again. And the questions of, who else is going to be there? Is anyone else going to be meeting up with us? ... Is there anyone notable that she would miss meeting if she didn't come out to meet up with me? ...
It just was not working out. I suppose I could have confronted her candidly about what I was experiencing. Then again, the relationship at that point now had a giant chasm of doubt in between. I did not trust that I knew anything about her anymore. The character and values that are so important to me didn't seem to match. Then I had to make a conscious decision and remove her from my mental list of folks that I wanted to see, and/or wanted to see me... I took it as perhaps I'm just not that exciting enough for her. Perhaps not beautiful enough. Perhaps not influential enough. Just not enough - and perhaps most definitely, we're not a fit for each other anymore. It was causing me so much heartache so I quietly went a different direction.
Experiences where family and friends don't keep their word puts a dent in the trust tree. Words and Character - they should mean something. Put enough dents into the trunk of the tree and it'll fall down and die. Perhaps it stems from a childhood trauma - like so many of these things we think are unique in our adult lives.... I used to run home every day hoping to see my father after school. He was never there.... and then only once he was there standing behind the front screen door when I got home.
And then, he was never there again.
Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tapping my shoulders.
Believe it or not... It's been a little over a year that I've been making all of the hand-soap in our home (and homes of extended family). Due to experiencing some very extreme prolonged stress (and then ending up with PTSD - had over a year of EMDR therapy with an excellent army veteran guy, so feeling much better), I ended up with head-to-toe psoriasis in 2018.
Then I found out I was pregnant. High risk pregnancy due to lots of things going on. (Don't worry, #theQuinoa is doing awesomely awesome.)
Then I learned about all the literal "crap" and chemicals that go into soap. ----> So that was it, I decided, we literally needed to "clean up" at home. Yea no more store bought shampoo nor conditioner for me. No more store bought body soap. I think I still smell ok. Hey, I'm Korean - so I got lucky in a lot of ways. I learned about the ingredients that go into soaps. I read this giant book about essential oils. Then I started selling the soap (small supply, not full time, just for kicks). These days, the soap is going by much more quickly with everyone washing their hands and faces multiple times a day, every day - I think about how many exposures are we getting to the harsh chemicals. All of those chemicals end up in the sewers...
Things to think about - are you using clean soap to clean these days? Look at the ingredients.
Anyways, one of my "hobbies" 2018-present that I wanted to share. Crazy how little we know and how much we assume in the things we do every single day.
Next on the list... figuring out gardening. I've never ever had a green thumb... any tricks? If I had even more time, I'd love to have chickens and fresh eggs. I know a bunch of y'all have done that - and I'm so jealous.
Maybe I'll trade you handmade CLEAN SOAP for FRESH EGGS?
PS. Or trade you SOAP for a cool-er logo? Thoughts on the version 1 I created with free software?
This past one (1) year, I've learned a lot. October 2018 to October 2019, I've learned an incredible amount about me, my relationships, recovering from significant challenges, the meaning of life, and much more:
Want the abbreviated version of what I've learned this past year? The summary is that the magic key ingredient to everything is empathy. Most of us are trying to make a mark, to do something with life, and to be a good valuable member of the community. Sometimes, a person may get wrapped up in the chaos they are in and respond too quickly. Another time, a person may poke a bear a little too hard with a stick that is too sharp and prickly. Emotions are real - and it's very important to not let the emotions get the best of us. Don't forget to breathe and find empathy.
Nice chart, huh? BYND baby.
My husband has a huge influence on me. I think I have a huge influence on him. That's marriage... and he's really into investing, money, markets, all things business and finance.
I've always been pretty passive, especially when it comes to finances:
I'm tracking a few different stocks and companies now. We've been mentally placing bets on companies (or with angel checks) since 2012, and have learned A LOT. I'll write up the summary of learning in another post. Now I'm taking those principles and applying it back to the stock market - and with that, I've placed a bet on BYND. In at ~$80 on BYND, and today it's up to ~$166. Not bad, huh? I'm playing 1-5 year ranges now (versus the 6-12 month ranges I had done previously). In hindsight, I should have put more in when I did - shoulda, woulda, coulda.
Ah well. Proud owner of BYND.
Sharing, because sharing is caring. :).
From across media and entertainment, to business and politics, it is the era where diverse people and #women are starting to get a seat at the table, take on the leading roles, and shine in the spotlight.
Jotting down and sharing some quick high level thoughts from the intensity of today. It is a very monumental place in time we are sitting today - and I'm so thankful for the opportunity to be alive and a part of it.
The advertising world is fraught with problems of fraud, complicated supply chains and lack of control over data privacy. Not only are advertisers losing more money to fraud than ever before, they’re also losing control over ads because of an increasing number of middlemen in the supply chain.
The good news is that blockchain technology has the potential to solve these problems. Here are three important ways blockchain can provide more transparency and trust in the digital advertising industry.
1. Increased Fraud Prevention
Ad fraud is a huge problem in the advertising industry today. Exact numbers vary from source to source, but it’s been posited that as much as 36% of all digital ad traffic could be fraudulent. Mobile ad spend hit $40.1 billion last year. That means approximately $14 billion of all mobile ad spend is potentially fraudulent.
The solution lies in blockchain as a digital ledger of transactions. Every transaction of a digitized product is stored on blockchain as an immutable record, which means that nothing can be faked or changed after the fact. Each transaction is recorded only when all parties agree. The ledger is decentralized, or shared in real time by all participants. This means that no single party can unfairly influence the results.
Because of its transparency, this technology has the potential to allow advertisers to more easily monitor where ads are going and what happens to them. Blockchain even has the power to provide information like bid price, where impressions are coming from and how many times an ad is viewed.
2. A More Transparent Supply Chain
The supply chain for ads is dizzyingly complicated. What used to be a simple transaction between advertiser and publisher now involves supply-side platforms and aggregators handling ads along the way. Advertisers often don’t know exactly what happens after an ad leaves their hands.
Because of this, many advertisers now feel they don’t have control over their ads in how they’re presented, bid on or distributed. They may feel powerless because they’re unable to choose which steps, or even how many steps, an ad should go through before it’s put in front of consumers.
Blockchain’s decentralized ledger makes it possible to record every party who has touched the ad from advertiser to publisher. This allows advertisers to regain control of the supply chain by making it fully transparent.
3. Improved Data Privacy
By now, everyone in the advertising world has heard of Cambridge Analytica. Users are warier than ever of the way their data can be used against them, and governments are beginning to respond with their own policies for data protection such as the General Data Protection Regulation.
One problem is that people tend to enter the same sensitive information on multiple websites. Most people do not understand where their data is stored and how it might be used. Since the data is stored by multiple organizations, a security weakness in any one of them could lead to stolen data. It’s no wonder that people are opposed to providing advertisers with personal information.
Blockchain technology offers the possibility of a safe place to store sensitive information. For example, a highly encrypted, decentralized database of personal information eliminates the need to enter the same data multiple times. People can access their information with a private key and choose what they share and with whom.
Advertisers, on the other hand, can use blockchain to demonstrate to people how their personal information is used, making it clear that they’re using data in a safe and helpful way.
These measures could potentially increase users’ trust in advertisers. And with the ability to control exactly what they want to share, people may be more inclined to share basic information that allows advertisers to show them the ads they’re most interested in.
Originally published at www.forbes.com on September 20, 2018.Here’s the original link: https://www.forbes.com/sites/theyec/2018/09/20/why-advertisers-cannot-ignore-blockchain-technology/#7645b6766f12
Video of Women in Blockchain that was made for the Blockchain NW conference here in Seattle on September 10-11, 2018.
" I'm excited because the more opportunities where we can bring thought leaders, people that are really active in the technology space in Seattle. You know that Seattle is the hub for cloud technologies, artificial intelligence, which means we are at the hub of technologies when it comes to the digital evolution with cloud, devices, mobile, machine learning, data data data, which is the heart of blockchain. So it's gonna be really exciting to bring all of these thought leaders, have us trade notes, build those relationships and work together in building the new future." --Arry
Making decisions whilst drowning in ambiguity and chaos.
Yes - that describes what it's like to be a founder and CEO of a startup. That also describes what it's like to do a tokensale, an ICO, or anything in this new complex-business model blockchain "stuff".
Making decisions whilst drowning in ambiguity and chaos holding a newborn baby in one hand and the Empire State Building in the other hand while balancing on a tight rope standing completely buck naked in front of the mob in a crowded stadium.
That's more like what life has been like the past 12 months and continues to be like for me personally. It's surreal. Time is moving both so slowly and at "warp" speeds at the same time. Most of the time when I'm in a meeting, I am constantly having this "out-of-body" experience that allows me to walk around in the room mentally, while at the same time sitting in the chair and experiencing the meeting firsthand. Surreal. Sometimes my ghost body gets "stuck" in the physical body, where I'm trapped, blind, and suffocating.
There are also many times when it's just really tough. Working with white spaces and green companies, we don't usually have a playbook of best practices to look to. We don't have a board (of advisors or investors) to turn to on speed dial that can provide wisdom and a sounding board. And when a company is growing so fast moving through the stages of its evolution in weeks and months, rather than years - without realizing it, many of the things that a company does actually is setting precedent for its future. Forever.
In moments of really tough decisions, I play the scenario in my head over and over and over. It's me on professional judgment day. I'm standing before a jury of my professional heroes and heroines like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, Meg Whitman, Peter Thiel, Ben Horowitz, Steven Sinofsky, Mary Barra, Sarah Imbach, Jeffrey Friedberg, and many more. It's really important to me that I can look at myself in the mirror, and also picture myself standing before the jury of heroes and heroines. I look for "defensible", logical, and figuring out what is the real intent of the decision that makes sense - and then look to what kind of precedent that it will set for the forever future for our employees, our culture, our advisors, our communities, ... and most importantly, our society. Humanity.
And so, that is the state of where I am today - mentally standing before the professional jury.
And fighting daily to find "space". Got tips?
Group gifting trivia from the world of GiftStarter:
My heart hurts. A lot. To say goodbye.
I pushed and pulled and fought as hard as I could to create something out of nothing. I met some very talented and inspiring people along the way. Thousands to people were part of this journey, and I could not have gotten anywhere as far as we did without everyone.
In the end, the 10 big lessons for 2014-2018 are...
Knowing when to walk away.
Spring to Summer of 2016 was really hard. I thought I could be superwoman, having just given birth to my Lentil - that with the help of my awesome team, we could pull through this together. Deep post partum depression. I spent the summer of 2016 in a deep depression. Deep despair. My husband often had to peel my salty existence off the floor and into bed. I did not feel like I even deserved to be alive. I often thought the world, my husband, Lentil, everyone would be better off without me. A waste of space. Unworthy of the air I took in. I looked at the sweet innocent face of Lentil and would end up crying because I felt I did not deserve to be his mother.
My advisors and investors starting sitting down to give me the "talk" in 2016. They told me it was okay - to close it down and give them the write-off. They told me to get going on the next startup because that one was the one they wanted in on. I tried for one last hurrah in the fall of 2016, with my "AJ" by my side (thanks to my investors, especially Rudy, for giving me that one last swing at the ball). Fall of 2016 was not the season of generosity and giving. Power was changing hands - and the air was filled with emotions between the Clinton versus the Trump camps.
January - March 2017 I spent most of it on the verge of tears or crying my face off or finding a place to belong. I'd be fine, and then while brushing my teeth with my husband in the bathroom, I'd tear up. Standing in the kitchen I'd tear up. I tried to get "out there" and involved in the community to pick up my spirits. I tried to do this "Red Scarf" thing which was all about giving it forward to another woman entrepreneur. I spent a bit of time doing office hours. I put together events. I volunteered to help the Riveter launch. I did consulting on the side. I advised any startup that came our way. I really wanted to help this tiny little startup company called CakeCodes (which later became Storm and one I am part of today).
And here we are. May 2018. I should really have called it quits back in the Winter of 2015/Spring of 2016. I definitely should have in the Summer of 2016. I absolutely should have sometime in 2017. It is now officially May. We are in the first week of May 2018 and I am finally officially and publicly - calling it done.
Hope this post helps someone out there. If you ever want to talk, please do not hesitate to reach out to me. It is so lonely being an entrepreneur, a founder, in startups, being a founder CEO, raising funds, doing the grind, having employees, figuring out how to be a mom as a founder, all of it. The emotional depression and the depth of despair that one experiences is so great, I wonder how many of us are suffering silently.
Hugs to you out there trying to change the world.
I'm literally trying to breathe again. Find that emotional and mental space to feel like a human being, not a machine. I don't remember what it's like to be me anymore. I've become a different person, again. Each of these intense journeys reshape the person you are - and it takes a bit of mental/emotional "integration" time to bring yourself back into being a whole person again.
Doing an ICO, is not for the faint of heart. It's not for the sensitive or the self-conscious. It's not for those that do not have the stamina.
All I can say, is since May 2017, it's been a lot of back-breaking long hours. Weeks on weeks away from family, away from husband, and away from my toddler. It's wake up to sleep, nonstop work. At the worst point, we were taking 1.5-3 hour naps at a time working around the clock for weeks on end.
Oh yea, and the crazy schedule. Greece, UK, Switzerland, Cayman Islands, United States, and all over.
Trying to breathe again means forcing myself to not open the phone first thing in the morning. It means giving myself permission to eat lunch (again). It means giving myself permission to call a friend I haven't spoken to in over 8 months. It means giving myself permission to cook dinner for my family. It's been REALLY difficult getting back to a normal human life. The past 8 months have taken a hard hard hard hit on my family, my husband, and my toddler - also my in-laws and my mother who've stepped in to help the family as I've been working so much.
Thanks for being on this journey with me.