I am worthy of love. I am worthy of belonging. I am vulnerable. I like me. I am a good person. I am here. I like you.
I had a few blog drafts ready to go, and the time just flew by... and now it's the last couple of days of 2010, and I've decided to go with a brand-spanking-new post written on the fly. Last night, I was inspired by this TED talk by Brene Brown I watched while making eggrolls from scratch with my mother and thought the themes presented in her talk were truly moving. "I must share this. I must take notes. Inspiring." - these were the thoughts going through my head as I watched this talk. I'd like to think that this is a great post to close the year out with.
In Brene's talk, "The Power of Vulnerability", she talks about the three C's: Courage, Compassion, and Connection. These are three themes that I've been seeing over and over again as I've watched lecture after lecture, read book after book about the psychology of happiness. We're too desensitized as a society, as a people - we need to embrace our "humanity" again.
Hugs my friends! Happy new year.
2010 is coming to a close: Looking back now as the year 2010 is coming to a close, it’s quite amazing to see where I am, where my friends/family are, and society in general as a whole. There’s no doubt that the general consensus is that 2010 was a year of epic change for many of us. Epic: for many of my friends/family that moved to new cities to begin new lives, some closed the chapter on long relationships, and some began new chapters with new career changing moves. Me? I am sitting here, on a Monday, having just finished cooking all morning, plowing through my piles of books, and thinking about what I need to get done today so I can go to bed with a clear conscience – I need this clear conscience saying I added value to the world today. I spend a lot of time analyzing and thinking.
Our world has changed. The world has gone through some crazy changes. Our irresponsible ways of hyper consumption have caused the collapse of our financial systems - because there is a price for everything. The world is stretching and working its muscles as we are being forced to change – and change very quickly. No pain, no gain, right? We have had a change of power in our government (US) – and more changes will come to bear as the old inefficient processes and systems undergo more scrutiny. We’ve been shuffled into a new world of sharing, thanks to the world of technology and all that’s happened during start of the 21st century.
The power of we: Sharing. Collaboration. Co-working. Collaboration. Co-paying. That’s where the past decade has taken us. Isn’t it amazing? Now, with the simple click of a button – I can reach out to thousands of people, some of whom I know very well, and some of whom I’ve never met. Thanks to technology, we have a system of trust happening between complete strangers. We have a global community. Flickr. Yelp. Twitter. Facebook. YouTube. Foursquare. It’s so simple. We are connected. We have moved from the individualistic culture focused on “me” (20th Century) to a collaborative one that understands the power of “we” (21st century). There’s hope for us yet!
Examples: The average consumer today is no longer the passive one just taking in like before – today, we are proactive, informed, and collaborative. We trust the recommendation from a peer over the one that is produced by the system.
All Things Wishful: So as you know, the three of us (Arry, Mina, Michael) are working on a startup called All Things Wishful. We hope to help the change the world a little bit through our product that helps communities collaborate and share. We’re hitting beta now – so keep your eyes peeled!
You know what the expectations are when it comes to being on time with your boss and client meetings, ... but why can't people seem to follow through when it comes to social commitments, to friend commitments. Why are we all so flaky? And what about your so-called loved one (aka boyfriend/girlfriend/lover/wife/husband/kid...) - shouldn't you treat them least like you would your number one client or boss? Yea, most people don't - and I think that sucks. What about people being on Seattle time, West Coast Time, Chinese Time, Asian Time, Korean Time, European Time, Russian time... I've been here on the west coast for almost a decade now - and I have to admit, I find myself wanting to RSVP as "maybe", or not at all so I can decide later. You want to have your cake and eat it too. You want to keep your options for the something better that might come along. How very west coast - why are we so commitment shy around here? You throw a party and 35 people RSVP'ed, then 15 of those people that RSVP'ed show up, in addition to the 30 others who didn't RSVP. How can anyone plan anything like this?
I usually make it a point to most definitely make my commitments on time - 4PM meeting, no problem, I'm there. 8PM meeting, 759PM, I'm there. People arrive late and then they are surprised I'm on time. (I find this kind of funny) They arrived late to account for the time I might be late. How in the world can you do anything like this? That's how business is run around here? Say what? What gets me is that when I'm on time, and I end up waiting another 20 minutes for the rest of the people to show up. You didn't know how to get there - ever hear of getting a Garmin - maybe map it before you get in the car? Plan freaking ahead. Parking took you 15 minutes - or did you just start driving over 15 minutes ago? I've stopped waiting for people one by one - and my tolerance is going down year by year. Maybe that makes me a bitch. I've been at fault of just being tired of being the one waiting - I've started being tardy here and there. I hate waiting. I hate making others wait. There's no winning apparently. It's driving me insane!!! I showed up early to meet the CEO of a local business recently - he came highly recommended to me from a mutual friend. The guy was 45 minutes late and unapologetic - who the hell do you think you are? Is 45 minutes of your life more valuable than mine? Have you no manners? Etiquette? No, I think not - your credibility just dropped 50% before you even opened your sad pompous mouth which is saying nothing of interest to me now.
Where did this pet peeve of mine grow from? My birth father left us when I was very young, about five and a half years old. My little brother was a new born. Until our father left, I was Daddy's little girl - every day we couldn't wait for our dad to come home from work wearing his leather jacket in his Cadillac (this was the mid 80s). When he left, it was so sudden. I came home from my day in kindergarten, and I remember seeing my mother's heavy face coming out of their bedroom with a very somber and tired face. She really didn't have to say anything - I knew our life would never be the same again, but she did. "Your daddy's gone." Being so young - it didn't really hit me for a few years. I'd continue to run home from school every day hoping he'd be there waiting for me. He was there waiting only once - for that one random day when I was about 8-9, then disappeared again. You can imagine how this would mess up a hopeful young girl's sense of hope. Yea, screwy. Yea, tragic. So what? I don't wallow in self pity - so don't feel sorry for me. C'est la vie.
So, I'm a little intense when it comes to the realm of time. My time, my life, my minute is valuable to me - I respectfully value your time, your life, your minute, too. Don't ask me to put in face time for the same of being a warm body at a desk at work. I'm not interested. Set expectations appropriately - it's okay to reset them too. I get it, shit happens - life happens. Let me know ahead of time if you're running late so I'm not waiting for you. I'll do the same for you. Let's be courteous, kind,and respectful to each other.