what is faith?

What's going on in Arry's life?  It's quite interesting these days when I see someone I know or meet someone new and they are already up-to-speed in many ways about parts of me, some of my life experiences, my career... - and there are times I'm taken aback wondering what have I gotten myself into.  What have I gotten myself into?  Yes, it's most definitely scary.  Yes, I do worry sometimes about the fact I do put some personal inner stuff "out there" on the world wide web.  Yes, this does make me very vulnerable in a lot of ways.  The benefit for me is bigger than the fear and scariness though - writing and sharing with you is therapeutic for me.  I share with you my thoughts and let them go - knowing that I may learn something through open conversation with you.

Commitment.  I committed myself to this blog - and I plan to follow it through (at least for now).  Yes, I'm afraid of commitment when it comes to many things, but when it's something that comes from my innards --> I stick to my gut.  :o)

Faith.  That brings me to the topic of faith as it has been the topic on top of mind all day today.  Today is Saturday, April 16, 2011.  There's the religious term for faith.  There's the general definition for faith.  There's a spiritual meaning behind faith.  No matter what the application of the word faith, whether it's in relation to G-d or to relationships, faith is extremely important to the world we live in because at the root of the word faith is the powerful word, Trust.  Today, I want to write about how faith is the trust and belief in people holding true to their intentions, their feelings, their word.  That's what we need a little more of with each other - faith.  Faith that despite our mistakes, clumsiness with someone's feelings, awkward moments, really bad fuck-ups, irrational behavior sometimes...  we are all doing our best.  Trust and belief that people are doing their best with the energy, the emotional availability, the facts (or lack of), and past experiences (or lack of).  It's difficult to sometimes remember that...  I blew up at my brother yesterday, I was a little short with Mina last week, I couldn't muster the energy to go into the office the other day - I'm sure you/they can relate.  And here's the best thing, my brother says to me, "Arry, I get that you are extremely busy and stressed.  Please know that I'm having a really rough week, too."  Mina says to me on the phone, "Arry, you must be having a tough day".  My prickly needles go down and I reply to both with, "I'm sorry, my intention was not to upset you..  I am having a rough time...  I love you."  That's faith.  That's love.  I'm starting to feel like I "get it".

That brings me back to my ArryinSeattle blog - faith.  I'm doing my best with what I've got and I'm openly sharing it with you.  And you're doing your best, too - so sharing on the very public world wide web is a place of hope to me.  Would love to hear your thoughts.

Love,
Arry