shameless boys: example 1

I've been telling this story to a bunch of people as an example of why it is just so difficult to meet a good man.  I know, Seattle, the ratio is just right - and it's completely the city for a single woman.  We have our pick! ...  Not so much.  I hear guys complain about how difficult it is to meet a good woman - and how women have it so easy.  Here's the truth - it's not easy for women either.

Case in point, "Cody" [specific details like names, places and such have been slightly altered].  I was introduced to him a couple years ago.  One day, a friend who is a matchmaker for Seattle's "elite" (and I had no idea he did this until he reached out to me), reached out to me and asked, "Arry, are you single?" -- to which I replied, "actually, yes, but not really looking."  Turns out he had a client that he thought was just terrific and thought I'd be a good potential match.  And so...

His name was Cody.  Age 35-37.  Never married.  No kids.  Caucasian.  Intellectual and more introverted.  CEO of a well established company.  Tall and well mannered.  Family oriented.  ---> Oh yea?  Hey, I'll meet up.  [So matchmaker friend gives Cody my contact information].  Cody calls and asks for a coffee meet-up.  I select a place about 5-6 blocks from my place - so in case I get uncomfortable, I can jet out of there.  You never know, right?  I usually give these types of meetings a time block of 45 minutes, and then I'm out of there. 

The Coffee Date: I meet him at the said coffee shop.  He's tall - towers over my 5'5 frame.  I think he's like 6'2 at least.  Well groomed.  He's dressed "casually" - but you can tell he's one of those guys that spends a lot of time selecting his cloths.  Expensive taste, even for the casual hoodie.  Quality materials.  Okay - detailed kind of a guy.  He buys me a soy chai - we go over to the side and talk.  How do you know matchmaker friend?  Where are you from?  What are you looking for?  What do you do?  ...  Okay... Okay...  seems nice enough.  Well mannered.  Soft kind voice.  Makes eye contact.  Not bad.

He calls shortly after and we make arrangements for a second date.

The Dinner Date: Picks me up, takes me to a nice seafood restaurant.  Tells me it's one of his go-to places and his family likes eating there.  Opens car door when I get in, opens car door and holds his hand out to help me to get out.  Chivalrous.  Good.  Nice dinner date - order dinner.  Conversation flows smoothly.  Eye contact.  He likes his close friends.  Talk about families.  ...  After dinner, he suggests I come check out his newly remodeled home.  [Guarded... ] I say, "uh... ok, just for a min".  He jokes, he won't bite me quite yet.  [Awkward giggle from me].  Okay - he's showing off with this visit to his home.  Penthouse - custom job. Beautiful home.  Very clean.  [He's HANDY! Yay!]  [Ugh... cats... I don't do cats]  Takes me to his bedroom shower to show off all the crazy buttons and settings he has for it.  Surreal.  [I'm tired... ok... time to go!]  He picks up on the cue and offers to take me back home.  Hug good night.  Hmm...  seems like a sweet man.  I'm liking.

Yea, I'm getting to the punchline.  Weekend comes and I'm hanging out on my rooftop patio with my awesome friend: champagne, laying out on the deck, talking about our recent girls' trip to Vegas.  He texts, "What are you up to?" -- I reply, "Enjoying the sun on my deck with a gf" -- he responds, "Oh nice.  Me too."  [Shrug, back to hanging out with my friend - update her on Cody].  He texts, "I bet I'm wearing less than you are." [Oh no... oh no... ] -- and then another text quickly follows...  OH MY GOOOODDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!  He sent me a text of himself laying out on his deck....  COMPLETELY NUDE!  [The horror... the horror...]  Show my friend and now we are both squealing and screaming and yelling and in horror.  He calls.  "Hey, so, did you get it"...  [Yes I did...  you surely blew this...].  I think he gathers from my silence and says, "I shouldn't have done that, huh?"  -- I say in a low voice, "No, you shouldn't have.  Please do not contact me again." 

A seemingly well mannered educated kind successful man obliterated in one stupid photo.  We had gone on 1.5 dates.  Hadn't ever really touched, held hands, kissed, ...  WHY WOULD A NUDE PHOTO BE A GOOD THING HERE?  I deleted all his info, texts, the photo -- but boy am I regretting deleting that photo.  That would have been funny to include with this post. [Not]