my inner demon: part ii

Lots of changes this past year, this past month... and this past week.  Yea, I'll update you soon.  :)  In my last post, I talked about hitting this emotional low and very unexpectedly - a person crossed a boundary with me and I felt violated.  I blew up.  Angered.  Fuming.  Hurt.  It came at an inconvenient time too - and with witnesses. 

The path of my emotional journey since that post:

1. OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO DIE!!!!!!!!!  No... no... I want to PUNCH SOMETHING or SOMEONE!
   
2. The horror... the horror... .... oh my dear God, the horror
3. Fix it fix it fix it ---> must fix it!
4. Wait... what am I fixing?
5. Awww hell, I need to drop this.  Walk away.  Control "Z" ...
6. I didn't do anything wrong damn-it.  Sick of feeling guilty.  Why the hell am I the one feeling bad?
7. Prickly pear am I.  Keep your distance.  
8. Curiousity.  I have already made up my mind, but what the hell.  Gonna go for kicks.
   
9. Prickly pear.  Punchy.  Pow.
   
10. I'm okay.  I deserve to feel.  I expect better.
    

Be real. Maybe it's me, maybe it's women in general or people - we're so afraid to emote, to express our true innards, ... and when we do, oh my gosh, the horror.  Stop apologizing.  We walk through life desensitized and careless - and when you feel/see/hear true emotion, it's shocking, it's embarrassing, ... and our natural instinct is to APOLOGIZE.  WHAT THE HELL!?  Take ownership.  Own your feelings, own your actions, own your mind and body. Put in the time, be respectful, and take care of yourself.

That's where I'm at now.
Moving forward.
Good night, friends.