letting go, moving on, and finally... forgiveness

9/14/2010

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you."
~Lewis B. Smedes

Pretty damn amazing thing happened today. Spent the day immersed in my Korean-ness with my BFF, ate Korean food for lunch and watched heart wrenching Korean dramas all afternoon. (And yes, my plans to start the week as super productive me was delayed a day in favor of spending quality time with my friend.) Anyways...

We are watching the drama, and in between lines of the actors speaking French and Korean with Chinese subtitles, which we cannot read, we had some mini-conversations with each other. Suddenly I say, "Holy canoli, I snooped recently just out of curiosity (curiosity is my downfall, or maybe my "thing"), and I found out Andrew <omit last name> is a VP at <omit company name>." "Interesting," she replies. "What do you mean 'interesting'?" "Well, you actually said his name, you haven't said his name in years since it happened", she wisely remarks. ... Wow. I am amazed. Wow. ... Wow. That is true.

Blows my mind. Just like that, without intending to or over-analyzing the situation and coming up with some magical process that I will put myself through to prove to myself I have moved on, let go, forgiven my ex (and this is THE ex from 2006, broke my heart), ... it was done. Just like that. Done. For the past four years, you may have heard me refer to him as "FF", or "FuckFace".... ( ... hmm, am I allowed to write that?) ... And now, I won't. I don't have to. I am free. I've let go. I've moved on.

I forgive you, Andrew.

~Arry

6 Comments

Tesla

9/14/2010 11:46:32 am

Forgiveness is divine :o)

Arry

9/16/2010 04:09:09 pm

:) Thank you Tesla - it really is.

Sam

9/27/2010 05:05:42 pm

This is so true. My projects grew by 1000%. The problem is that now you can do all you ever wanted to do + all you have to do. It really takes some time/task management discipline.

Sam

Silvia

9/28/2010 11:14:38 am

Sounds familiar, even without a 9-5 it's amazing how projects can take up your time, plus all the backed-up things like 401(k) management that you never get around to! Enjoy.

Arry

9/28/2010 04:03:01 pm

Thanks for your comments Sam and Silvia. It really does take an extra amount of discipline and will - and also taking into account the importance of still going out and interacting with friends, former colleagues, etc... while maintaining restraint on the tighter budget - it's been quite interesting learning to maintain balance. We should catch up soon, yea? Hugs!

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