lentil is here!

This post was written on July 8, 2015.

Third time's the charm, right?

We found out we were pregnant.  Having had 2 miscarriages now, I was very wary about the whole idea of being pregnant again. I procrastinated getting an appointment setup with the OBGYN.  Finally, in the last week of the first trimester, did the appointment and HOLY MOLY!  There was a real baby in there - big, and with a heart beat.  I started crying... ... no actually, sobbing.

I'm happy.  It's really happening!  My husband and I have created a bridge of our genes, chromosomes, hearts, and souls in creating this baby.  It's a miracle...  Babies are a miracle.

I'm terrified.  There's so much going on all at once.  All together - at the same time.  I'm thinking about moving, a new city, a baby in progress due in less than 6 months, my husband and marriage, my mother and brother, my team, fundraising, our partners, ...  it's just so much.  

I've got a startup.  I've got a team.  We need to raise more money.  How in the world is this going to work?  And it turns out... I'm moving to San Francisco in exactly 1 week (we just got accepted and a nice investment from 500 Startups).  What about my dog, Mochi?  What about my husband?  What about this new life forming inside of me?  ...  How's this all going to work out?  This startup life is a marathon, a grind.... and uphill battle.... and 1 year in, the hill is getting very steep and my load has just tripled in size.

What am I doing about it?  

• Slowing down a little bit to  maintain perspective.  I've learned, that when things get really tough and crazy - do the opposite of what you really want to do.  What I really want to do, work harder and longer and go at it with all my strength.  I know I need to do (and so I do), I breathe.  I force myself to go to bed.  I force myself to eat regularly.  I put on the brakes and do all that I can to maintain perspective.
• I'm letting those close to me (my husband, my family, my GiftStarter team) in on what's going on.  
• Planning.  When things get hairier and crazier, planning is everything.  Take the time to plan - even if it slows you down in the short term.  I find that this always pays off in the long run.  It helps you navigate what to sweat over, what you can drop/lose/fail at, and what you absolutely must not let drop at all no matter what.  I'm working with my husband on a large calendar many months out so we can coordinate across state lines together.  Stepping back, assessing, analyzing, planning, and moving the pillars of how we operate. Maybe making them wider.  

Our world is about to get way bigger.

T-7 days til we fly to San Francisco....  anxious, excited, terrified, ... 
--Arry