**This post was written on November 11, 2013.
I believe in dreams. I mean dreams in the literal sense - the ones you have while you are sleeping. The ones that I can never remember, except once in a blue moon - those dreams. I believe dreams have meaning that relate directly to what you are feeling, experiencing, sensing, ignoring, doing in your conscious life.
A dream I had a few months ago sometime in the middle of the summer, had me painting my finger and toe nails. But my finger and toe nails were brittle and they kept falling off. I tried and tried to stick them back on. I tried and tried to be more careful to not knock them off. I tried using nail polish as a glue to keep them on. Finally, I was painting nail polish onto my exposed skin, where my finger or toe nail would normally be....
The supposed dream meaning has something to do with me losing my sense of self....
A dream I had last weekend (November 2, 2013) was about my eyeballs. Both eyeballs - two of them. There was a lot of dust and debris all over my eyes and my vision was foggy and distorted. I tried rubbing them but the debris kept building up really fast. It was windy, and the debris was hardening very quickly. I tried dipping Q-tips into saline solution to rub the hardening debris off my eyeballs. So hard - the debris was hardening so quickly. I took a flathead screwdriver and started trying to chip away at the thickening crust forming on my eyeballs. I could no longer see but bits and flashes of light. I tried scraping my eyes faster and harder ....
The supposed dream meaning of that one has something to do with me having lost the vision of myself...
It seems my subconscious, my unconscious, whichever one it is speaks and shouts more loudly to my conscious in my dreams - warning that I need to reassess myself, make sure I don't lose perspective, regain that sense of self and my vision for myself. Since the summer, I've been feeling like I've been trapped in an insane asylum (that's literally the exact words I've been using to describe how it feels to exist these days). I've dropped and lost touch with my hobbies that keep me grounded: blogging (though I'm picking up on it again recently), painting, playing piano, my startup endeavors, ... so much has been pushed to the side for my job. I've lost balance and perspective.
I've been working to regain that balance and that balanced perspective this month (November 2013) so far. Blogging more. Spending more time with family. Reading more. Thinking about art and my next painting. Played the piano a few more times, ... warming up to being me again, the whole me.