Getting married to my husband is and was one of the best decisions I've ever made.  He is the strongest, most patient, most kind person I know - and he is doting, endearing, and devoted to me.  We've been married a few years now and I say, it's been some of my absolute best years alive.  Who would have known?  I was so adamant that I would never ever marry, let alone a Korean man - and here we are.

Prior to 2011, I remember thinking I knew what a good relationship was.  I remember thinking I knew what I wanted in a marriage...  and I know that I was mostly wrong.  What I've learned so far is that marriage is way more than height, looks, his salary, his fashion sense, his education level, ... all of that is not what makes or breaks the marriage.  What I've learned is that it really is about the core values of the other person.  How did I know that this was THE guy to marry for me?  

1. My husband is so consistent and dependable.  He's a creature of habit.  Before we were officially dating/in a relationship, we were "just friends".  No, not even in air quotes.  Really.  Plain friends.  No matter the circumstances, the crazy things I did and told him about (because we were friends), the time of day, how inconvenient it was - he was always there.  Consistently.  With the same message.  Nothing could deter him.
2. My husband did everything I always complained about past boyfriends not doing, without me ever having to ask for it.  He opened doors and car doors (still does to this day).  He called me, regularly - and each time, I was not expecting it at all.  He didn't text until later in the relationship, it was either a phone call or talking to me in person.  Gives me small delightful surprises and treats.  He loves the little things in life and takes the time to enjoy them.
3. He remembered all kinds of details.  He has a way of writing down EVERYthing, which is probably how he does it.  The most amazing memory of people's faces and events.  He would show up randomly on days with a piano book for me because he knew I liked that particular song.  He made mixes of music.  He remembered I love eating a big chocolate easter bunny on Easter - and has every year gotten me a delicious chocolate bunny.
4. He tried new things that he had never done before with me.  And not just once, but he would try again at least a couple of times to try and like something I liked.  We went to this fancy sushi restaurant once and got the omekase.  It wasn't until the end of the dinner that I found out he had never had omekase or really done raw sushi (other than a spicy tuna roll) before.  Now he loves raw oysters and sushi with me.
5. He was always interested in meeting my family and friends, and he was very interested in having me meet his friends.  We went from having no mutual friends to a couple hundred today.  Every single one of my friends and family members loved him.  

To me, all of his actions, so consistent, said more than he needed to.  I saw (and still see) a man who believes in integrity, has great work ethic, loves to learn and try new things, does what he says he'll do, and says what he will actually do.  The integrity/loyalty is really important to me too.  I'm a new-feminist (meaning women and men are equal, but different), and just adore it when a man is chivalrous.  It helps that my husband has a good southern upbringing (North Carolina).

Yes... I'm still smitten when I talk about my husband.  I hope to never stop... even at our 10 years... 20 years... and 50 years together, forever.  Having a marriage and partnership like this is like being at the top of life.

Arry  

I'm ALL IN on my startup, GiftStarter.  ALL. IN.  ALL. IN.  ALL IN!
How so you may ask?  Here are 7 seven ways I'm ALL IN on our startup:

1. I quit my job in management consulting for it.  It had the privileges of tenure, a great salary with bonuses, working with people I like, training, ...  And when I quit it, I felt like a was leaping in to the air finally free to fly high on my own.  I dreaded it, and finally when I did it, I couldn't believe I had been such a wimp about it.  I almost wish I had done it sooner.
2. I no longer have ANY income.  It's weird, to be working SO MUCH and SO HARD... and not be getting a paycheck AND still feel SO motivated to continue charging on.  Every day...  We aren't driven by money - we are here to build a great company, business and have an impact.  
3. I dropped EVERYTHING else in my life that was extra (not GiftStarter).  People ask me about my furniture design all the time.  I respond with, "nope, not anymore, I'm only on GiftStarter".  I was the Seattle Managing Director for FounderDating - I had to step down from that.  All the extracurricular activities and clubs I did before, no more.  Nothing else.  100% GiftStarter.
4. I stopped hanging out with FRIENDS and socializing.  People say the startup life is lonely - seriously, it is lonely.  I no longer do the happy hours of fun, girls' night out, ... anything normal.  I do go out randomly here and there, but it is always with a reason.  I do turn up for a night of drink therapy here and there, not reliably.  My husband and I have to schedule time to spend together.  I feel like a hero when I cook that one night.  Even when I do hang out with friends, our energies/priorities/focus in life is so different, it's difficult to relate to the world.  I don't even know what's going on with tv shows - tv shows?  I can't sit and watch tv.
5. I gave up my love of shopping.  I love acquiring fun fashionable things to wear as a way to express myself to the world.  Coats, shoes, accessories, pants, dresses...  no more.  Literally.  Cold turkey.  
6. I wear the GiftStarter teeshirt, (almost) EVERY day.  I have 10 of them - and I wear them ALL THE TIME.  I have missed a day or two here and there (with laundry, running out of outfits to match with the shirt...).  It's my way to show the world that.  GiftStarter is EVERYTHING.  No joke.  Every day of the week and month.  
7. Yes, that's my car up there, WITH the GiftStarter logo sticker on it.  If you see it around, that is me.  In fact, that logo is literally on EVERYTHING we can get our hands on.  

Hugs,
Arry

That's a photo with my mother - who else would I want to highlight on International Women's Day?  :)  My husband and I walk more regularly now together in the evenings.  In one of our recent walks, we talked about how amazed we are at all she's done.  My mother came to the United States not knowing a single person here.  Our father left us at a really early age, so she single-handedly raised us.  And when I say raised us (I have a brother), I mean raised us.  Healthy meals for dinner, packed our school lunches, sat with me for hours and hours with my homework, sat with me for hours in making sure I NAILED the piano practice for the week, drove me to all kinds of extracurricular activities (piano, violin, math club, ...).  This is a woman who has a kind of drive and persistence that even I don't know if I can even come close to.

She did ALL THAT while also working a full time job, a NIGHT shift one, to support us as a single parent.  She worked the night shift so that she could be available for her children during the day.  We went to church every weekend, sometimes multiple times in a week.

On top of it, the lessons on humility and service towards others is what she drove into us, into me.  When your head does get big, and there's nothing like having a good family to bring you back down to earth.  Every weekend, she had me play the piano or violin at local nursing homes.  I remember thinking, WHY!?  It really was not the "cool" place to be spending weekends, especially when you're in middle school or high school.  The lesson she drilled in, is that no matter how big or busy you are, you have to make time to give back to others.  Whatever talents you are blessed with, it is your responsibility to LIFT others to a better place with those talents.  


Happy International Woman's Day.  For me, I am forever grateful to my mother, for being the most fearless, persistent, energetic, humble fighter in the world that I've ever known.  I don't know how she did it - and I can only hope to have some of that fearlessness, persistent energy and humility.  I'm sure there's women in your life that have made an impact on you.  Would love to hear your stories.

Hugs.
Arry

**This post was written on November 11, 2013.

I believe in dreams.  I mean dreams in the literal sense - the ones you have while you are sleeping.  The ones that I can never remember, except once in a blue moon - those dreams.  I believe dreams have meaning that relate directly to what you are feeling, experiencing, sensing, ignoring, doing in your conscious life.

A dream I had a few months ago sometime in the middle of the summer, had me painting my finger and toe nails.  But my finger and toe nails were brittle and they kept falling off.  I tried and tried to stick them back on.  I tried and tried to be more careful to not knock them off.  I tried using nail polish as a glue to keep them on.  Finally, I was painting nail polish onto my exposed skin, where my finger or toe nail would normally be....  

The supposed dream meaning has something to do with me losing my sense of self....

A dream I had last weekend (November 2, 2013) was about my eyeballs.  Both eyeballs - two of them.  There was a lot of dust and debris all over my eyes and my vision was foggy and distorted.  I tried rubbing them but the debris kept building up really fast.  It was windy, and the debris was hardening very quickly.  I tried dipping Q-tips into saline solution to rub the hardening debris off my eyeballs.  So hard - the debris was hardening so quickly.  I took a flathead screwdriver and started trying to chip away at the thickening crust forming on my eyeballs.  I could no longer see but bits and flashes of light.  I tried scraping my eyes faster and harder ....

The supposed dream meaning of that one has something to do with me having lost the vision of myself...

It seems my subconscious, my unconscious, whichever one it is speaks and shouts more loudly to my conscious in my dreams - warning that I need to reassess myself, make sure I don't lose perspective, regain that sense of self and my vision for myself.  Since the summer, I've been feeling like I've been trapped in an insane asylum (that's literally the exact words I've been using to describe how it feels to exist these days).  I've dropped and lost touch with my hobbies that keep me grounded: blogging (though I'm picking up on it again recently), painting, playing piano, my startup endeavors, ...  so much has been pushed to the side for my job.  I've lost balance and perspective. 

I've been working to regain that balance and that balanced perspective this month (November 2013) so far.  Blogging more.  Spending more time with family.  Reading more.  Thinking about art and my next painting.  Played the piano a few more times, ...  warming up to being me again, the whole me.

Arry